The semester is finally well and truly over for me. That is, grades are in, and barring hacking or some last minute collapse of either judgement or the cyberverse, what I’ve earned is locked in the immutable annals of Penn State’s four’ by six’ humanities cabinet. As immutable as halite, it is!
First, as I am a pessimistic realist, for the bad news. My GPA dropped. After four months of perpetually feeling behind and a sense of constant pressure to have already completed something days prior, I assumed I’d lose a step. My grades are not what I’d have picked for myself, could I have done so with anything other than greater dedication and fewer life distractions.
On those distractions: Derpy (proper name: Chryselephantinious), is currently running in circles, biting his own tail and then viciously attacking his back as revenge for the tail pain, lamenting his self-right
For the good news: the step I slipped resulted in a hit to my GPA of .02 grade points. I’m still on the dean’s list. I’m still well within striking distance of “High Distinction” and possible “Highest Distinction,” depending on how everyone else finishes and what damned scale rightfully applies to me. I was hoping for the title of “Grand Puba of Words Learnin'” but I think they only confer that on honorees, such as the brain damaged footballers my collective of colleges keeps churning out. Perhaps they’ll make an exception for me and accept my suggestion of “Highliest Distinctioned.”