I should take deathly ill more often, it certainly boosts readership. Last week was my best in three months. As Don Henley says, it’s interesting when people die.
Dying on the regular takes a toll, though today’s a good day for it. Strongly in keeping with a terminal, metaphysical feel with lethargic, but implacably tumbling snow, a dichromatic grey landscape, and a freezing body of water fading into the mist just outside my window. A good bit of today’s idiom fits in well with classical accounts of death and the blather thereafter.
Metaphysics aren’t my thing, at least not outside of fiction, so I do my best to keep their tenants and trappings from bleeding too much into reality. Such is becoming more and more difficult, my dreams have become weighty of late. Were I a poet, I’d likely claim some omen. As I am not, I’ll instead cite my inability to regulate my blood sugar properly. All one needs to speak, or more accurately, to feel he has spoken with the gods, is an awkward set of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphin levels. Everything becomes meaningful. One finds himself counting the divots in his oatmeal, searching for meaning in the resultant number.
I can now assure you that 176 has no great correlation.
There seems a great weight which I take turns hoisting without and holding within. Today, it’s external, and I feel like I’m moving through led. I can picture the metal surrounding me as a hot brick dropped into ice, the led sweating as it re-solidifies around me at each position in which I stop. This is actually better than having it packed inside. It’s always better to have an opponent, even if that opponent is the sea, than to have oneself as the adversary.
Not all my analogies can be gold, I did warn that I’m currently about as sharp as a butter knife. Gold into led, hmm, there’s joke in there, but alchemy is the named pursuit of my other site, as such, I’ll leave it to my plant-y-er self to realize.
One of the decided benefits of this odd, pilot-able sort of madness is the different ways in which stories come together. I’ve had some interesting, very strange ideas. At the moments that are just right, when I’m enough out of myself to come up with something strange and new, but enough in possession of my brain to get the ideas written down and quantified, this bit of oddity acts as a boon. I suppose more fragments aren’t necessarily somethings to celebrate, given my folders full of them, but they aren’t like what I’ve been coming up with recently. Something new is always welcome, especially when it’s interesting.
Now, if only I had the energy to get some serious writing done.
As before, this blog’s a start.