Abiding Time as Spring Demurs

After three days, my lungs have finally opened up enough for my ribs to hurt when I breathe.  On monday, Hershey deliberately dosed me with something to interfere with my breathing.  I made it through for of the five exposures, the tech and the overseer deciding a fifth would be unadivisable.  Had I known the only way to reverse the poison was a massive dose of albuterol I’d have skipped the whole thing and stayed in bed.  I don’t know what good the procedure did, proving that someone with allergies responds to bronchial irritants, but I hope pulmonary got something out of it, I surely didn’t.

Even through yesterday my pulse ran fast from the bronchodilator.  I don’t tolerate it well, such that I’d often rather fight through any pulmonary constriction than overwhelm my heart and be doubly fucked.  My heart rate goes so high that any good an open airway does is wholly consumed by my increased need for air, by the sense of being a blender run full speed while empty.

The three breathless days weren’t all bad.  I credit them with restricting the expansion of my diaphragm, taking some of the stress off my ribs.  Toward the end of kung fu I felt the ache, but it’s no longer acute, no more painful than everything else.  I took a few good, accidental shots today without much response.  Manageable.

I have another dee are appointment tomorrow.  I can’t be bothered to remember its purpose, but one hopes they won’t poison me at that one.  Such is fairly rare, so the odds against are good.  At least it gets me out of the house.

Of poisons, there seem to be a great many fewer in the basements since I’ve been working there.  The airfilter seems actually to have managed an upgrade in the air quality below.  The new light continues to inspire strong growth, though I need to make better use of the space beneath it.  I could use some more filters, both powered and organic.  When I can afford it, I’ll upgrade my other lights and put some hyper-accumulators to work.  My snake plant is surely ready for division by now and I’ve got plenty of spider plants and pothos to spread around.  Eventually I mayn’t even need the synthetic filters.

I’m anxious to begin working outside.  Most of my tree seedlings survived the winter and have begun to bud.  Now is the time for pot upgrades and soil amendment, but it’s been too cold.  Even if I’m able to tolerate the temperatures of late I’m not sure delicate roots can afford exposure to them.  My hands certainly ache after a few minutes turning porch temperature soil.  I wish spring would settle on a course and move on, but with it set to snow on saturday I think I’ll have at least another week of working indoors.

My studio and growing spaces ever more resemble the kinds of workplaces I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, another week or two inside won’t be the end of me.

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